How do you love someone when you can't be together? Is that a strange question? Not for guest author, Jennifer Arrington. Today, she's giving us a look into a Real-Life Romance situation when she couldn't be with her husband. I think you're going to love this story as much as I do! In January of 2021, I went in for a double mastectomy. A large caveat to this frightening surgery was that I had to go in alone; COVID protocols allowed zero guests. I remember being more afraid of flying solo than the actual surgery.
My husband had been by my side throughout my original breast cancer surgery, a lumpectomy in 2019. He held my hand and cracked jokes and kept me distracted from the fear the entire time. The last thing I remember was his presence; the first face I focused on afterward was his. So, having to go through this more significant surgery without him felt overwhelming, and he knew and understood this.
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Can you remember the last romantic gesture you received? How about the one before that? In all honesty, a lot of us probably can't go back too far in remembering. And yet, the romance is still there, even if it's not in the forefronts of our mind. So what makes our love lasting? Guest author, Iola Goulton, is chatting today about her relationship with her husband, and what takes it from the red-hot romances to lasting love. Read on! I am an avid reader, and romance is my favourite genre. Yet ask me my what my favourite book is, and my answer is likely to be the Bible (always a good choice). Why? Because every novel I’ve ever read mysteriously vanishes from my memory the minute I’m asked the fateful question.
I have the same difficulty with romance, romantic moments, and romantic memories. Despite reading one hundred or more romance novels a year and being married for almost thirty years, ask me to write a blog post about something in real life that I found romantic, and thirty years of chocolates and flowers and fun days with my husband vanish from my memory. It’s not that he never does anything romantic, and it’s not that I have a bad memory (honest!). How did you fall in love with your significant other? Better question: how do you keep falling in love? That's what guest author, Jessica Wakefield is chatting about today. I think you're going to agree with a lot of her sentiments. Read on. Real life romances are always unique. Recently I had three of my nieces for a sleepover. Add to my own two girls, I had five girls ranging from ages six to twelve in my house. It was noisy to say the least, fun watching the girls laugh and play together, but noisy. In the morning it was just me and the girls. My husband had gone to work when we saw a cockroach (it was one of the biggest I’ve seen in years), and not a single one of us could kill it. There was lots of screaming. I told me eldest to run across the road and ask our neighbour if he’d help. He’s a grandfather and I figured he’d be a good source of assistance. Sure enough, he came over and dispatched the cockroach. I told him he could tease me about this for the rest of my life. He laughed and said it wasn’t a worry. In fact, he said, that’s how his daughter met her husband. She had knocked on the door across the road, needing help with a spider, and he came over and the rest is history.
Would you consider a video game a romantic gesture? Author Sara Beth Williams is chatting about a time when her husband surprised her with just that. And how she found it romantic indeed. Read on. My now-husband and I met at a Christian concert event in 2005 where he and I along with several other college students spent a weekend camping and enjoying contemporary Christian music. There weren’t any huge romantic gestures, btu there was absolutely an inward pull toward one another. Ove the years, we’ve both made romantic gestures toward one another, like when I bought NFL tickets for our first year anniversary (and they were stolen off our porch) Or when he bought Toby Mac concert tickets for my birthday, or Switchfoot concert tickets for our anniversary. We’ve been open about what we like and want to see from one another. I am a huge proponent of communication, and I believe that ‘expecting’ your spouse or significant other to know everything you want is unrealistic and unfair for everyone involved. Is it the big gestures or something else that really gets your heart racing in the romance department? I'm very much in agreement with fellow author, Carolyn Miller, who is sharing some fun experiences her husband blessed her with ... which has in turn helped her create more romantic characters. See what you think. When my now-husband and I first started dating I was impressed by his romantic gestures. I still remember when he first asked me out that he quoted Shakespeare to me (Henry V’s speech to Katharine – I know you want to know!), something which stunned and impressed this high school English teacher. (I’m someone who struggles to remember the names of her characters in her current work-in-progess, let alone swathes of Shakespeare!) I remember being impressed by the moonlit walks on the beach, the flowers, the jewellery, all of the sweetnesses.
Now, twenty-five years of marriage, four kids, and lots of adventures later, I’m still a huge fan of those gestures most would deem romantic, but now I have a deeper appreciation of other things. Like when he takes care of cooking dinner without complaining. (Hey, he’s a better cook than me) Like when he wants to spend time with me, even if it means doing stuff that mightn’t be his favorite thing to do. 2023 got off to a shaky start in some ways.
I caught a cold/sinus gunk shortly before Christmas and kept it all the way through. Not a fun way to celebrate the holidays. I finally started feeling better in time to start back to work. But I started back to work with two days of an online tax seminar. I went from getting up between 7:30 and 8 and lazing away at breakfast to having to be at the office by 7. Big difference. By the end of those days, I was spent. Mentally and physically. Imagine my joy when I walk into my house and find the ceiling fans dusted and dinner started. For the last few years, I've started with the goal of one date per month.
Well, y'all, it just hasn't happened. This year we started really strong. I think we succeeded in keeping that goal all the way through May. But then life happened. Sicknesses, busyness, or simply nowhere to go. And the dates trickled off to one about every three months for the last half of the year. Total bummer. Some people might think it doesn't matter. After all, we're married. We live in the same house, see each other almost every day of our lives (not every day because sometimes I go on retreats ;) ). But it does. Every couple brings his or her own history of holiday traditions with them when they come to the relationship. Sometimes that makes for a rocky first holiday. Can romance be found in tolerating each other at Christmas? Jenny McLeod Carlisle is guesting today and talking about just that. She's an author I count as a friend ... and I got to edit her soon-to-release book, which is really good so read all the way to the end! Tolerance is my Christmas Love Language
After forty-six years of marriage, my husband has become very good at putting up with my foibles. I’m sure he could easily make you a list of quirks he elects to ignore. As the pages of the calendar diminish each year, my best friend’s tolerance is pushed to the limit. James and I met in high school, just weeks after I moved from my birthplace in Kansas to Arkansas. We were seniors at the same, small high school. That first Christmas in my new home, I was very sad. Our family didn’t make the trip to my grandmother’s house and I discovered the depths of homesickness. The familiar gathering with my cousins and all of the traditions involved turned out to be what I missed more than anything else. How do you do it all?
I get that question ALL THE TIME. A lot of times, I say something about "I just do it." But then I think. No. It's not just me. My husband helps A LOT. He makes sure I can carve out time for writing/editing/marketing. He nods and waves me on when I schedule a book signing or register for a conference to help me improve. He takes on so much with the children, and always makes sure I get a shower by myself. Lovely! He takes out the trash each week, including the dirty cat litter. And often ends up doing the Goodwill runs, too. My husband and I are very different.
I don't think I realized that when we first married, but after living together for eighteen years, I can see it better. Different isn't necessarily a bad thing, of course. Honestly, we're not opposites, either. So I can't even do the whole "opposites attract" spiel. But there are enough differences in our preferences that I've had to change the way I think about things when it comes to celebrating, sometimes. |
This is a place for me to share thoughts and ideas not just related to writing. Thoughts about what's going on in my life, about an idea I got that I thought shareworthy, or just a funny anecdote.
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