Did you have a good first impression when you met your forever person? Author Hope Toler Dougherty talks about how sometimes first impressions can be right ... and sometimes they can't. Keep reading to find out more. And check out her new book! It looks so good! My future husband and I began dating in Charlotte, North Carolina, way back in the mid to late 80’s. We’d go out with friends and then during the evening, people would start to couple up. Relationships formed, and several grew into marriages. The night we met, I was hanging out with my roommate at a nice restaurant bar with lots of wood and lush ferns. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. My husband likes to joke that we met at a bar. When we started talking, I was immediately attracted to him, impressed with his career, how he carried himself, his plans, his humor. I thought, “This guy has his act together.” All the other guys I’d dated seemed like boys in comparison. When he grabbed my fingers and noticed my college ring, he said, “1983. That’s when you graduated?” I said, “the first time.”
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How do you know when you've found a nice guy? It might not be any big gestures. But there are ways to tell. Author Christina Sinisi tells the story of how she found her nice guy, and it might not be what you expected. My parents’ marriage was anything but romantic, anything but a role model of what I wanted for myself, my future marriage. After watching their fights over the years, the harsh insults and gestures, I wanted myself a nice man.
He could have crystal blue eyes, biceps I couldn’t reach my hand around, but none of that would matter. He had to be nice. But how does one know, really know, if someone is a good person? One guy that didn’t make the cut got furious when I got us lost in the city near my house that I should have known like the back of my hand, but I didn’t. I grew up on a farm, not in the city. When my cheap car broke down on the Blue Ridge Parkway, my future husband stayed calm and made friends with the rednecks who stopped to give us a lift. Our 18th anniversary was on June 11th. Know what we did to celebrate?
Nothing. Want to know why? My husband was in the middle of a ten-day quarantine due to having COVID. That's right. He was sick and so we didn't even get close to each other that day. No hugs or kisses. Not even a little finger squeeze in passing. And I never want to celebrate an anniversary that way again. Can your spouse pull a surprise on you? How about after you've been married a while? Like 18 years? I've got to admit, I love this story fellow author Cindy Bonds tells of her husband a secret he was finally able to keep. Definitely romantic in my book. See if you agree. First off, I love the idea of finding real life romance in the every day life of a married couple! It’s not always flowers, date nights and gazing into each other’s eyes. Love moves, ebbs and flows, emerging as romance in the most amazing places as a marriage grows.
My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years. A lot of houses, two kids, jobs galore, God’s guided us through all of it. Those little things that show up right when we need it are the threads that hold us together when everything else seems less than stationary. In the past few years, I’ve hit a couple of milestones; first published book, hitting a milestone birthday, going back to a full time job, sending our first child into Jr. High … To begin, my husband tends to have terrible timing and can’t keep a secret to save his life. I never get presents on my actual birthday or anniversary, he can’t hold on to it that long and has to give the gifts early! If we all think about it, we expect to meet our future someone somewhere romantic. But more often than not, it happens in an ordinary place and time and we might miss it if we don't pay attention. Today, fellow author Candace West tells the story of how she met the love of her life. I never expected to meet my future husband at a baptizing. And I certainly didn’t expect to meet him when I was the mature eleven-year-old looking down at his ten-year-old freckled face.
Yet I did. Right under a cypress tree along the lakeside as people set out folding chairs while others tuned their guitars. Nearby, my mama snapped open a case and pulled out her accordion. Sparkles like silver glitter spread across the blue-green water to the distant shoreline. At our feet, water lapped gently at our toes, so alluring, so off-limits on this special day. Every person has a different definition of romance. And sometimes, those definitions take a direction you might not expect. My good friend, Heather Greer, is chatting today about how she and her husband celebrated twenty-five years of marriage. And it might surprise you. Sometimes romance isn’t roses and chocolates.
Sometimes it’s wrestling and bread pudding. My husband and I just celebrated our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. When you pass a milestone anniversary, people expect the couple to enjoy dinner at a fancy restaurant, a rose for every year, or a vow renewal ceremony complete with second honeymoon. We did have a party, but only because friends planned it as a surprise for us. When friends ask how we celebrated this special anniversary, their open curiosity turns to confusion when I tell them we went to a wrestling match with a couple of close friends. To be honest, we went a week before our anniversary. But that couldn’t be helped. The Royal Rumble didn’t ask us when we wanted them to arrive in St. Louis, Missouri. Writing definitely has its ups and downs. And I'm not just talking about the climax of the story.
One minute, you're up because you got a nice review (authors LOVE reviews because it helps other readers decide if they want to read the book or not). The next minute you're down because your editor wants you to cut about a thousand words. Then, back up because you scored a contract for another story. And back down because you have to rewrite three scenes. Up. Your book was mentioned on a popular readers' blog. Down. You didn't end up a finalist in the contest you entered. You get the idea. There's tons more, but that last one is where I've been the last few weeks. I don't know about you, but our house has been plagued by germs lately. That's right. The big evil C word finally caught us after two years of avoiding it.
Needless to say, there's been much handwashing and cleaning going on. And not very much kissing. Nope. My husband and I learned long ago that kissing while one or the other of us is sick is not a good idea. Not if we want us both to be well sooner rather than later. Do you have "your spot?"
You know what I mean. That one chair or corner of the couch you tend to gravitate more than anywhere else in your house. I do. But when I was recovering from surgery last month, my chair didn't have a high enough back to be comfortable. My sweet husband has his spot, too. It's his recliner. Can you guess what I'm about to say? So many people forget that marriage vows include the phrase "in sickness," but fellow author Jenny McLeod Carlisle is living it. Read on as she talks about how well her husband is taking care of her after surgery. And the little surprise he came up with for her, too.
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This is a place for me to share thoughts and ideas not just related to writing. Thoughts about what's going on in my life, about an idea I got that I thought shareworthy, or just a funny anecdote.
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