My husband and I are very different.
I don't think I realized that when we first married, but after living together for eighteen years, I can see it better.
Different isn't necessarily a bad thing, of course. Honestly, we're not opposites, either. So I can't even do the whole "opposites attract" spiel.
But there are enough differences in our preferences that I've had to change the way I think about things when it comes to celebrating, sometimes.
For instance, if you remember a few months ago when it was my birthday, you'll remember me wanting a big celebration, making sure everyone knew, and really making a big deal out of things. My husband is not that way.
He'd much rather forget the day existed completely, but I can't humor him that much. I do, however, respect his request to not have big parties or send embarrassing balloons to school or anything. Because he doesn't like being the center of attention. Something quiet at home, his favorite dessert and meal, and a few gifts from kids. That's all he needs to be happy.
It goes against every instinct in me to do it that way, but it makes him happy. Just like it went against his inner instincts to plan my surprise party.
The thing is, when you love someone, you don't force your favorite ways of doing things on them ... most of the time. Instead, when it's their special day, you try to make it the way they want it. Because it makes them happy.
So, on my husband's birthday, I am planning a family dinner with his favorite dessert, a few presents, and hugs from the kids. Nothing more, nothing less. Because I know that's what will please him best.
That's how we keep the romance alive at birthday times in this house. He tries to help make a big deal out of mine and I try to keep his quiet. It's maybe not novel-worthy, but it's real-life romance. And it's probably even stronger than a novel because it means we're putting each other first.
How does your significant other like to (or not like to) celebrate? Are you opposites?
This is a place for me to share thoughts and ideas not just related to writing. Thoughts about what's going on in my life, about an idea I got that I thought shareworthy, or just a funny anecdote.