Real-life Romance: Red-hot or Lasting

Can you remember the last romantic gesture you received? How about the one before that? In all honesty, a lot of us probably can't go back too far in remembering. And yet, the romance is still there, even if it's not in the forefronts of our mind. So what makes our love lasting? Guest author, Iola Goulton, is chatting today about her relationship with her husband, and what takes it from the red-hot romances to lasting love. Read on!

​I am an avid reader, and romance is my favourite genre. Yet ask me my what my favourite book is, and my answer is likely to be the Bible (always a good choice). Why? Because every novel I’ve ever read mysteriously vanishes from my memory the minute I’m asked the fateful question.
 
I have the same difficulty with romance, romantic moments, and romantic memories.
 
Despite reading one hundred or more romance novels a year and being married for almost thirty years, ask me to write a blog post about something in real life that I found romantic, and thirty years of chocolates and flowers and fun days with my husband vanish from my memory. It’s not that he never does anything romantic, and it’s not that I have a bad memory (honest!). 

It’s that marriage isn’t made up of endless romantic moments. Yes, there are many. The flowers he bought me after our first date. The times he did my laundry while I was at work so we could spend more time together in the evenings and weekends. The book he ordered because he thought I’d like it. The day trip he planned to Paris, France. The many holidays and trips he’s planned. The hours and days of research he puts into every trip we’ve ever taken. You might say these are romantic gestures worthy of a Hallmark movie. I say they’re his outward expressions of enduring love.
 
So what does it take to move from Hallmark romance to lasting love? Based on almost thirty years with my husband, I’d credit three factors: faith, fun, and friendship.
 
Faith
Our shared Christian faith is the bedrock of our marriage, the foundation everything else is built on. Paul wasn’t wrong when he wrote:
 
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
- 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)
 
“Unequally yoked” can is often taken to mean a Christian marrying a non-Christian, but I think it can also mean two Christians with different levels of Christian maturity (e.g. a mature Christian and a new believer), or two Christians with different life goals. Opposites attract can be a fun fictional romance trope ... but it takes a degree of unity to move from the fun of romance to the permanence of love.
 
There’s even the challenge of wording to get past. I’ve just finished reading Indigo Isle by T I Lowe (great novel, by the way). One of the lines that struck me was this:
 
I wasn’t in love. In love implied I could get out of it.
 
I’ve always preferred “I love you” to “I’m in love with you”, and this simple quote illustrates why.
 
Because love lasts … especially when that love is rooted in a shared Christian faith.
 
Fun
My husband and I have always enjoyed doing things together, from creating a home and family to travelling (and even moving country twice).
 
As we’ve grown older, we’ve also realised that we don’t have to enjoy the same things. I enjoy reading and writing and attending writing conferences. He enjoys airplanes and air shows and visiting air museums. We’ve learned that we’re both happier if we give the other person the freedom to embrace their own hobbies and interests.
 
Friendship
When we got engaged, I received a big card from my workmates. The card was full of congratulations and comments, but one piece of advice struck me at the time and has stayed with me: the importance of being friends with your forever partner. I truly am married to my best friend, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
 
That is the foundation of a good friendship … and a good marriage. I saw that with my parents and other relatives, and I’ve seen it in my own. I suspect my own marriage explains why friends-to-more is one of my favourite romance tropes. And that’s why my debut novel, Always By My Side, is a friends-to-more story (with a dash of opposites attract in a small town).
 
What do you think makes the best marriage: romance? Or love?

---

​Iola Goulton is the empty-nest mother of two who lives with her husband in the sunny Bay of Plenty, New Zealand, not far from Hobbiton. Yes, it’s a real place. “Iola” is a Welsh name which means “valued by the Lord,” and it’s pronounced “yo-la” (not eye-ola).
 
She writes contemporary Christian romance with a Kiwi connection. She works part-time for a local company, wrangling spreadsheets by day and words by night. Find Iola at www.iolagoulton.com.

---

---

Always by my Side

A hardworking introvert meets a handsome adventurer longing to settle down.

Tabitha Thomas longs to leave Trinity Lakes and travel the world in honor of the beloved grandmother who raised her and her siblings. But she’s needed at home—she’s the responsible triplet, the one who stayed home to run the family inn while her brother and sister left to live their dreams.

Kiwi Logan Wylde doesn’t call any place home. When an injury frustrates his travel plans, he accepts an invitation to return to Trinity Lakes and recuperate at the Lakeview Inn, where he hopes to rediscover his purpose in life.

When Tabby and Logan find a property deed while cleaning out Gran’s rooms, Tabby embraces a new challenge—to solve the mystery of the floodplain and renovate the old boatshed. Working with Logan reignites long-suppressed feelings, but will their differences drive them apart?

An opposites-attract, friends-to-more, small town contemporary Christian romance.

Welcome to Trinity Lakes, a warm and welcoming small town in east Washington, filled with charm, family, and friends, where fresh starts, second chances, and romance abound. You’ll meet swoony bachelors, cowboys, and adventurers, sweet and sassy ladies, and your new best friends. This series of standalone Christian romances will warm your heart, inspire your faith, and bring a smile to your soul.
​

---