Behind the Story: Grief at the Holidays

The very first Christmas after my mother-in-law passed away, I was setting the table and put out one too many plates. I was so used to setting one for her, as well, that I naturally just counted to that number. And when I realized what I had done, I had to stop for a minute. Because the pain was raw.
It's been six years. I no longer set the wrong amount of plates at the table, but I still have those moments when I stop and blink a few times and have to catch my breath. Because I still miss her.
​Grief is real. And it doesn't really go away. It just isn't as sharp after a while. It dulls just enough to be able to catch you off guard, in my opinion.
Last year was the first time my father-in-law had put out most of my mother-in-law's Santa collection. And it just made it feel like a part of her was still with us.

---

This year, I'm missing her extra. I think it's because of this book I just released. After all, she helped inspire it.  She was an amazing woman and she left a big hole in our family.
When I started writing Mama Dated Santa, I knew it was going to include some grief. After all, to have a widow and widower, someone had to die. And when someone first read it, they told me my character's grief was too much for five years to have passed. I shook my head. I know several people who lost children or spouses decades ago and it hurts them just as much now as then. 
Everyone grieves differently. And we all have different triggers. But doesn't it seem to hit more at the holidays? A time when people are supposed to be getting together and having family time. That's when it's most obvious that someone is missing.
Don't worry, though. My book isn't only about grief. It's also about finding ways to enjoy life in the middle of it. Because life is still worth living and living well, even when we're missing someone special. My mother-in-law would love that we got her Santas out last year. She'd adore seeing the kids' reactions to the extra decorations. We'll always miss her, but a part of her lives on in our memories of her too.
Just like a part of my character Trudy's dad will always live on in the good memories she has of him. 
Do you love having some reality mixed in with fiction, even if it's painful? Or do you prefer to read things a bit lighter during the holidays?

---

Mama Dated Santa

Trudy McNamara doesn’t do Christmas anymore. But she will do anything for her nephew Mark, even take him to visit Santa. After Dad died and the holiday bucket lists stopped, December hasn’t been the same. But Trudy finds herself tangled up with the toy store Santa and Christmas when she discovers her mom … dated Santa.
Nick Russo, manager of Russos’ Toy Emporium, is at a loss as to how to save his family’s store. When Uncle Paul, the Santa and part-owner, hires Trudy to revamp their store, Nick’s life turns upside down. He’s been so focused on the numbers, the Christmas season has become nothing more than one last drive for sales. But Trudy makes him re-evaluate his attitude as well as want to help hers.

Can two holiday-haters renew their love for the season … and more?

---