"Oh my goodness! You are never going to believe what he did now!"
We've all heard something like that before. In Christian circles, we tend to downplay it by referring to it as venting, or sharing a prayer request, or commiserating, even. Let me tell you where I stand on it.
Before we got married, some of the best advice I ever received was when I was told to never talk badly about my husband to anyone. Especially if it wasn't something I would talk to him directly about.
But what about venting? If you keep everything bottled up, you're just going to explode and make it worse, right?
Here's my reasoning. If you're constantly "venting" to your friends about your husband, letting them know all the things that drive you crazy or wear you out or even gross you out, you're never going to have time to focus on the good stuff. And you know there is some. Even after being married over 14 years, we still have sweet moments, where he just reaches over and holds my hand for no reason other than he wants to. He still gives me kisses that make my insides flutter. He still catches me off-guard by unloading the dishwasher or bathing the kids one night even though I know he's exhausted, too. If I never focus on those and only focus on what ticked me off last night, my friends will never see the good in him, either. They'll only see the bad parts. That's not being a help-meet or building him up. And, it's going to put my focus more on the bad stuff, which will make it harder for me to see the good, too.
Keep reading ...
Now that I've said all of that, I need some help.
I've mentioned several times that the book I plan to write next month is about a couple who are facing divorce after only a few years of marriage. One of the reasons I've come up with is simply that she's letting all the little things build up, and focusing only on them. So, now I'm wanting to pick some other people's brains. I need more "little things" for him to do that drive her crazy. What are some things that might drive you crazy if the person you were living with did it? I will pick some favorites and see if I can't incorporate them into my novel next month. What might cause problems in your marriage if your husband did it all the time and you just let it fester inside? Help me make my characters more real, please. And thanks for your participation!
This is a place for me to tell you about what I'm writing, talk about the process or where some of my ideas came from, or even have other authors come in and talk about their books.
Authors I Love to Read (in no particular order)