Trusting God

Over and over and over again.
That's how many times I have to relearn the same lesson. Plus a few more, evidently.
What lesson am I relearning?
How to trust God.

It shouldn't be that hard anymore, right? Because He's taken care of me for almost 40 years now.
​And yet ...

What spurred this on?
My husband and I will never be rich. I don't care, so long as we don't want for anything. Honestly, until last year, we never really had much of a cushion. Then, when the government sent out those checks during the first part of the COVID pandemic, we tucked them away for later since we were okay and still getting a regular check.
Enter everything this year. We had to replace the siding on the house, so we put part of that down and financed part. We had to fix some sort of something in the engine of the van -- which of course cost more because another piece was broken, too. I went through allergy testing, and apparently most of that wasn't covered by my lousy insurance. Then, I had surgery ... with the same insurance. But we still had a bit left over of the cushion to get us through until tax refund time.
So, of course we had to replace the alternator in the van.
Pretty sure we spent more on the van in the last year than we would have if we'd still been making payments on it. Oy!
Needless to say, our cushion is once again gone for the most part.
And now I'm back to hoping we don't have more large expenses come up before something else comes in. Trying to be a little more careful. Considering giving up a few things I had hoped to do this year. You know. We're doing okay, but my safety net is gone.
Which means every time the stupid "check engine" light comes on, I just want to scream!
Then, this voice in the back of my head reminds me that God has never left me nor forsaken me. That every time we've gone through tight times before, He's helped us make it to the other side. Sometimes there were some major bumps to get there, but we did.
Why is it so hard to remember that He cares for me more than the lilies of the field or the birds of the air?
I'm not sure, but until I get it through my head, I plan to remind myself of those verses and go around singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness."
Do you struggle with similar worries and stresses? How do you calm the storm in your spirit? How do you keep your trust firmly planted in the One who never fails?