Do you love to have your hair brushed? It's one of the biggest pleasures I get from going to the salon every few months. To have someone else wash and fix my hair is a luxury.
My daughter, on the other hand, hates having her hair brushed. And she has a LOT of hair. She refuses to let me cut it and has only lately let me do many different styles with it, which means it is free to tangle to its heart's content as she plays hard all day long. I pull out the brush and she cringes before I even touch a strand. She's tender-headed.
I think, at one point, I might have been tender-headed. I can vaguely remember my mom tugging on my hair to the point that I would cry out in pain. But for most of my life, my head has been able to take whatever gets dished out to it. At least for a while.
I am hoping my daughter grows out of this stage, where she refuses to let me touch her hair except for a minimum of time each day. I want her head to grow accustomed to styling so that she no longer cries and throws such a fit.
And yet, it's almost sad that I am wanting her to grow harder ... more calloused.
I know it's a part of life. We go through it in almost every area--not only our heads. We stop crying every time someone won't give us the attention we want. We no longer worry as much about what people think of our outfits (although it took a while for that one to really happen). We learn to take criticism and advice that we might not always want because we know that even though it hurts a bit, it will make our work stronger and better.
And I want that for her.
But I also want her to not become too calloused. Because she has the tenderest heart, worrying about any friend that might have the slightest ouchie. And she has concern when she hears or sees someone not doing what they are supposed to, afraid they'll get in trouble. She gives hugs and kisses and "I love yous" and accepts anyone and everyone she's introduced to as an automatic person to love. And I don't want her to lose that.
There has to be a balance in life. And sometimes, I wonder if in getting rid of our own tenderness in some areas, we've also lost it too much in others. What do you think? Have you grown callous in areas that could use more tenderness? I know I have.
This is a place for me to share thoughts and ideas not just related to writing. Thoughts about what's going on in my life, about an idea I got that I thought shareworthy, or just a funny anecdote.