Sadness at Christmas

I was addressing Christmas cards a few weeks ago and had to stop. It was the first year I would address an envelope to one person but not his spouse. The first time that name wouldn't be on my list. And it hurt. I stopped and teared up for a few minutes, praying for the family that would be without their Marmie at Christmas for the first time. For the man who would do Christmas without his wife.
I had a friend lose her dad a few weeks ago. Another has her dad on hospice. Several friends have received cancer diagnoses or news that wasn't what they wished. Another friend suffered a traumatic brain injury over Thanksgiving break.
But it's Christmas. That means we have to be happy, right?

Here's the thing. Joy doesn't mean we're always happy. It doesn't mean we can't have moments of sadness and grief. It doesn't mean every single minute of the holidays will be all jingle bells and sugar cookies.
Because this is the real world. So, please, by all means, enjoy the happy moments. Sing the songs and laugh when you can. But know it's okay to be sad too.
In my book, Mama Dated Santa, my character Trudy is dealing with this. Her dad was her source of happiness at Christmas and when he passed away, it stole the joy of the season from her. She forgot that you can have joy and grief at the same time. 
Let's be honest, do we ever only feel one emotion at a time? I rarely do. Instead, we run the gamut of a range of emotions. It's the way God made us. And He understands. He's had joy and grief mixed together at the same time too.
What about you? Do you struggle at the holidays? How do you still hold on to the joy?